Long Snappers (?!) and the Pro Football Hall of Fame

I read Alex Prewitt's article in Sports Illustrated yesterday about long snappers in the NFL, and I couldn't help but think about whether the position deserves a spot in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. In the piece, Prewitt details how difficult contests became for teams that lost their long snappers midgame, such as the Cincinnati Bengals' defeat to the Steelers this year stemming from their long snapper's torn biceps. If a player is that valuable to his squad that his injury leads almost directly to a loss, shouldn't one of their fraternity at least be considered for induction into the Hall? It's a highly specific job no less important than kicker or punter, so I think it's time for someone to get a spot in Canton.

How might we decide which player to cast in bronze? For starters, we need to know some of their names, as long snappers are some of the more anonymous players on the field. Zak DeOssie seems like an interesting choice following two Super Bowl victories with the New York Giants. He and his father were both mentioned by John Turney in "Top Holders and Long Snappers in NFL History" as top ten players all-time at the position. Don Muhlbach is also mentioned by Turney, and Kyle Meinke of mlive.com in this 2021 article. So while it's a little late for this year, maybe Muhlbach, one of the DeOssies, or one of the many other players mentioned by Turney is worthy of consideration in 2024. It's time the position got its due.

Now for the holders ....

Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Football: What if Colleges Played in the NFL's Offseason?

Last year, in a bit of a creative vomiting, I wrote down a ton of ideas for a series of blog posts called "Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Football." While some of my ideas were interesting to say the least, there is something I find rather intriguing regarding my plans for "Earth-4000." In my typed notes, I sketched a rough timeline for playing NFL football in the fall and NCAA football beginning about a week after the Super Bowl. Now that I review my ideas again, I find them to have some merit, along with a number of terrifying drawbacks.

Should the universe align for this type of setup, the entire year becomes a staggeringly packed feast of pigskins and potato chips, dramatic football nearly every weekend. Spacing the schedule out would allow summer holidays to be adorned with the likes of Ohio State and Alabama, Memorial Day weekend hosting conference championships and the College Football Playoff finals moving six months from their current spot in January to the Fourth of July. The NFL starts up again in early August with the preseason, giving the United States of Football only a month of pigskin-less weekends each calendar year. NFL coaches could focus themselves by worrying only about their teams during the season, while saving the spring for scouting.

Of course, while this idea would be fun for a little while, the sports-loving world would get burnt-out on football by, say, 2025 or so. Even though football is fun, the nation would be unable to sustain a year-round Super Bowl party in perpetuity. I'm not so sure the NFL would be pleased by the idea either. Part of its success is based on offseason coverage of events like free agency, the combine, and the NFL Draft. Where would the media look if the NFL Draft was Thursday night but Auburn played Alabama on Saturday afternoon? It'd definitely be interesting, but if Alabama's defensive star gets drafted a mere 48 hours prior to facing Auburn, would he really give up millions to play in a rivalry game?

That brings us to perhaps the biggest drawback of them all: nostalgia. The Iron Bowl is always played on Thanksgiving weekend. Army and Navy square off each fall in one of the most traditional rivals in existence. And even if the Rose Bowl is swallowed by the College Football Playoff, can we really imagine it being played in the heat of June or July instead of early January? So while the idea I came up with here is an intriguing one, I think it's best to leave spring football to the USFL and XFL, professional leagues that entertain us, but are less traditional and do somewhat less business, giving them the elasticity to schedule during a conventionally non-football time of year. If nothing else, at least they let us explore the possibilities of spring football without fundamentally altering our (sports) world. College football in the spring just won't work. It's too much to destroy not only the fabric of the sport, but also the business models of some of the biggest, most successful leagues on the planet. 

Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Football: Earth-838 Has Football on Summer Holidays

*Note: This is the first post in a series of fictional installments that uses the MCU's  Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness as a jumping off point to football "what ifs." It contains spoilers for the newest Dr. Strange.

Dr. Stephen Strange and Miss America Chavez on May 6 traveled to Earth-838's United States while fighting the Scarlet Witch. During their trip, Strange and Chavez reported a number of significant differences between 838 and Earth-616, including key variations in the way football is played.

On 838, the United States has 72 professional football teams that are all part of the same organization, according to Strange and Chavez. The NFL has 36 franchises, and each major league team has an affiliated franchise in the Minor Football League (MFL).

"All of America was excited to see football on Memorial Day weekend, too," said Chavez. Each NFL team unites with its minor league affiliate for combined spring games on both Memorial Day weekend and the 4th of July, similar to what colleges and universities do in April and May here on 616, both Chavez and Strange said.

"It's really special for the fans to be able to come out and see a little football in the offseason," said 838's Roger Goodell, who like our Goodell has been NFL commissioner since the mid-2000s. "There are some differences from the regular season. Fans have the opportunity to really get up close and personal with their favorite players, something that just isn't able to happen from September to February."

During offseason games, fans are allowed to stand in designated areas on the sidelines and chat with players. Some teams have even allowed fans to try their hand at coaching.

"We give them specific plays to choose from, but fans have run our offense during spring and summer games in the past," said 838's Bill Belichick, head coach of the five-time Super Bowl champion Cleveland Browns. "They really seem to enjoy it."

Asked if the "fans as coaches" attraction was something the NFL could go to in this universe, 616's Roger Goodell said, "it's not something that's on the table right now, but we'd never rule anything out. Our number one priority is the fans, and if calling plays in preseason games is something they might like, we'll consider it."

In Defense of Tom Brady and the Unretirements of Legends

Tom Brady announced tonight that he will unretire and head back to Tampa Bay to help the Buccaneers franchise try for its third-ever Super Bowl title. While there are likely fans and pundits alike who believe the G.O.A.T. should have stayed in his rocking chair, Tom Terrific deserves to go out on his own terms.

When I told someone I know the news of Brady's comeback, he said when the quarterback finally does call it quits, we might remember that he used to be good, not that he still is. But a player who's won almost twice as many Super Bowls as any other quarterback in one of the most competitive sports leagues in the world has earned the right to try to be remembered in whatever way he wants to.

Plus, it's not easy for any athlete who loves their sport to call it quits, let alone the G.O.A.T. I'm nowhere near as talented as Brady, but I remember feeling almost like I'd missed an appointment the first time fall rolled around and I wasn't on a football team anymore. Brady can control when he walks away as much or more than anyone who's ever played the game. The only football player who comes to mind as being able to walk away on his terms was John Elway, who ended his career with two straight Super Bowl wins. Why shouldn't Brady come back and give it another shot if retirement didn't feel right, especially after an early exit in last season's playoffs? The legend, after all, has more than earned the right to go out the way he wants to, not the way armchair general managers might tell him to.

Washington Now in Command

The NFL's Washington, D.C. football team today revealed its new nickname that replaces the racist moniker the team employed from 1933 until 2019. The team is now the Washington Commanders.

I like the new nickname because it feels important and powerful, as if the team is a group of leaders on a critical mission. At the same time, it's not overly important or stiff. "Commanders" is a dynamic military nickname, reminding me of the San Diego Fleet in the now-defunct AAF.

The uniforms are sharp, with a new stencil-style font for the "W" on the side of the helmet. The home jerseys declare "Commanders" on the front, using a line above and below the name to make it stand out.

My initial reaction upon seeing a leaked photo of a Commanders t-shirt last night was that the nickname would jibe with the American tradition more if the team's colors were red, white, and blue. But I'm happy the team's primary colors remain the longtime burgundy and gold. Perhaps the franchise can come up with an alternate uniform and logo that includes red, white, and blue to keep the team tradition alive and simultaneously bring an important piece of America to the franchise. They are based in America's capital, after all.

How Would an Aaron Rodgers Move to Denver Affect Fantasy Football Values?

Now that Nathaniel Hackett has been hired as head coach of the Denver Broncos, it's fair to ask whether Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers will follow his now former offensive coordinator from Titletown to Mile High. Should Rodgers suit up for Denver next fall, there would be a massive fantasy football impact on the Orange Crush.

For starters, the wide receiver room in Denver would get a huge boost. Denver's leading pass catcher last year was Courtland Sutton, with just 776 yards on 58 receptions, 46th-best in the NFL. Whether next year's team leader is Sutton or someone more along the lines of Jerry Jeudy, those numbers would figure to see a dramatic increase. Of course, it's unlikely that Sutton or Jeudy end up being Rodgers' top target. Pro Football Network tweeted a couple of days ago that, per Tony Pauline, Rodgers wants Davante Adams and Marquez Valdes-Scantling to play with him in 2022, so a Denver offense next year could include, say, Adams, MVS, and Jeudy and make Sutton and Tim Patrick irrelevant for fantasy purposes. In that case, Denver becomes Green Bay West, with Adams and Valdes-Scantling in their normal roles and Jeudy playing the part of Allen Lazard, still an upgrade from his 2021 season.

There's also potential for Noah Fant's stats to see an increase. In the past, tight ends have had big years catching passes from Rodgers, especially Robert Tonyan in 2020, who scored 11 times on just 3.3 catches per game. Like nearly all tight ends in the modern NFL, the fantasy role of a pass-catching tight end is far from a certain, but Fant could be a late-round flier who goes boom if the fantasy gods are feeling right. Tonyan is also a free agent, however, and could decide to follow Hackett, especially if Rodgers, Adams, and MVS head west too.

Finally, there's the running back room. Javonte Williams and Melvin Gordon combined for 1,812 yards on exactly 203 carriers apiece last year. Should both remain with Denver in 2022, their total combined rushes would likely decrease given what would be a heightened ability in the passing game for the team as a whole, thereby reducing their fantasy value as individuals. Gordon, though, is a free agent, and a new team for him would provide a significant increase to Williams' upside regardless of Rodgers' superb ability to get the ball to his pass catchers.

So while Denver's choice of QB for 2022 is still up in the air, the selection of Aaron Rodgers would have a huge impact on the fantasy football relevance of nearly every offensive skill player on the Broncos' roster. What ends up happening will ultimately determine the fantasy value of many Denver players in 2022.

Fantasy Drafts I'd Love

There's nothing quite like the annual rite of the fantasy football draft, and now there are websites like OnlineDraft that can make anything into a game.

I love the superhero drafts that the staff at The Ringer and Matthew Berry and Robert Downey Jr. have done in the past, and the tastiest draft of all might be the SB Nation Thanksgiving draft.

So what else can we make into a snake-style draft that can both thrill and cause copious eyerolls? Here are some ideas, mostly twists on the ones discussed above:

1. Easter foods - There's at least one draft for Easter candy, but there don't seem to be any drafts for Easter food. As one of my high school friends once noted, it's really a spring Thanksgiving. Ham is as big on Easter as turkey and stuffing are in November, so ham could be the Christian McCaffrey of draft day.

2. Holidays - All the major holidays like Christmas and the 4th of July will be taken well before the end of the first round, but there are more than enough holidays to fill out double-digit rounds, and I'm hearing that National Ice Cream Day is a solid fourth-round pick.

3. New Superheroes - We could narrow the player pool to only those heroes who appear in Marvel's "phase 4" or later. Or maybe a draft could include only X-Men characters. The possibilities for superhero drafts are sky high.

4. All-Time Fantasy Football - If we could find a way to get Jerry Rice, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Pat Mahomes into the same fantasy game, the first round of the draft alone would be epic! Would Jerry Rice go first overall? When would the first QB go off the board? We need to find a way to make this happen!

5. Pick Your Own - What else could we draft? Next Gen football stats, sports announcers, offensive linemen.... Just like Captain America, I could do this all day!